we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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