ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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