If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
