Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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