I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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