2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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