I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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