I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
