so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
