covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
