Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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