She announced her abortion via fbk
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
