I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize