Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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