Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
