i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
