I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
