party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
