She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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