I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
