I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
