Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Also, beer. Big fan.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
