well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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