omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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