I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
