he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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