after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize