belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
