Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
