Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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