this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Couch. On fire.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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