Got a toothbrush?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The air was thick with penises
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
