Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
