He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
