i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
