mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
this hospital has no fireball
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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