Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
