I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
