It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize