all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
