The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The best revenge is premature balding
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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