i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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