Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
