Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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