Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
they call him Oral-B. enough said
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
