Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
