I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
