my mouth tastes like poor choices
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
