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Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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