You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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