in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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