I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
