Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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