At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize