I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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