i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
