the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
