Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
