i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
