I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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