she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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