I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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